So tonight I read a sweet little note - meant to be written by a small child to their parents- it was spot on and brought a tear to my eye.
The gist was that everything that is happening now, the tantrums, the nightly wake ups, the carrying, the wiping a dirty face, separation anxiety etc will soon go, the things that we as parents find challenging or frustrating will go and will leave us wishing we had of enjoyed the moment, no matter how exhausting or tough or hard it may have been.
We never want our kids to grow up or to at least slow down the growing up yet we may scold, or yell, or smack or time out or remove toys etc when the child is naughty or whinge about changing nappies after you have already changed 10 that day, or be annoyed when your own sleep is disrupted by a crying, restless child - who has probably just had bad dream or is cold or thirsty or just wants a cuddle- instead we see all of this as an interruption into our time, our sleep, our rest, our day off. Most parents that read this may say they are the worlds greatest parents who never feel this way but the honest ones will have felt this way, once or twice.
While i don't think it's a bad thing to ever feel frustrated or exhausted and unable to handle another public tantrum I think we forget that it's just a stage and it will pass ( not that this helps at 2 in the morning and you have run on no sleep from the night before), the waking at night for little reasons will soon pass, they will be able to get themselves a drink, or pull their blankets back up onto themselves.
I have most definitely felt frustrated and exhausted after an interrupted sleep, I have felt annoyed when Jackson has whinged and whinged or wouldn't stop crying. Of course I have! I'm human, I feel and i stress, not to mention this is the first time I've been a mum, every stage Jackson goes through is brand new and terrifying. My next child, I may be one of those mums who just goes from stage to stage knowing what will happen and how to handle it! How I envy those mums. The ones that know it all! How many kids does that take? To be a professional mum? Who know every stage, know every way to deal with it? Please say its just two! Otherwise god help my kids.
There have been times that I've thrown my arms in the air and wondered what the hell am I doing wrong, why isn't he listening to me, why doesn't he understand me, what can i do to stop the whinging! Jackson is the sweetest, most loving child and well behaved but damn can he throw a tantrum and whinge when he wants to! I step back and know it has to be just as frustrating for him to not be able to get across what he wants or needs as it is for me to try work out what he wants when he is whinging.
Despite the occasional corner sitting where I'm rocking back and forth I know that I will look back at these hard times and miss them, want them back, relive the nights he was sick and just wanted cuddles, the nights where he just wanted to play ALL NIGHT and the days when he would chuck tantrums cause he wanted to explore but wasn't allowed for safety reasons or when he just wanted to be glued to me, no one else would do.
They grow to fast and although the current stage may be difficult, they are your child, be patient, be supportive and by all means drink copious amounts of wine once they are in bed, but remember, it is all going to be gone in such a short time after all they grow up so fast, to fast to sit and worry about a tantrum or lack of sleep. Enjoy every minute, know your not alone in your feelings, take a break yes, but love your child, cuddle your child, enjoy every filthy nappy, endure every tantrum with a smile,
teach your child words (good words) and live in the moment with your creation, it happens once with that particular child, don't waste it.
On that note, I'm going to to sneak a cuddle from my sleeping baby before he wakes up. ;)
Xx
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